I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
