Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
