Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
