you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
How's work?
Spinning.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
