Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
