You just made me feel so damn special
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
babies were throwing up all over the place
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
