I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
