If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize