Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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