so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
