dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
