So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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