What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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