I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
