hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think we might need a safe word for this...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize