It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize