ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
