Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize