In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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