Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
