Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
