So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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