all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
