PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
