U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
