you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
