my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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