Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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