Is it because I queefed?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
