so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
