before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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