It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
