I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
