So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
