Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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