If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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