It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize