i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
