Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
