On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
