I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
