My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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