Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
