i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
