dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize