I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
