Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
