Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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