Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
