the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
