I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize