everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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