I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
