it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
