I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
