you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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