Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
