I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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