woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
