I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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