Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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