I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
