If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
