Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
