She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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