On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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