at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
