are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
