Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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