what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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