come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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