ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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