Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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