she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
